I feel like blogging right now. So i'll post before I sleep. And yes, I am well aware that it is 2:54 and i'm not spiting you.
Worked again today. Well, I worked the previous two days too. 8.5 hours on weds and thurs, then 11.5 hours today... technically yesterday. Pretty darn tired, I'd say. Although I didn't exactly do anything new today (still cutting up tiles, mixing mortar, laying tiles and such), I'm at least improving and doing things better (or I think it's better o_o). The weather really didn't help the situation since I do the tile cutting outdoors. Generally because the thing makes a great racket, and doing the cutting inside only reverbs the sound into titanic proportions, and we all know titanic proportions is not good for one's ears. Sort of soaked at a few points until we decided to rotate the machine so I'd be able to hide underneath some semblance of shade.
Two issues with the work though is that one, there is no bathroom available and two, why is he always late? We'll start with two first, because that's more illogical. I guess in a way, it's alright because you seem to be an extremely busy guy, what with the restaurant opening up in a mere 8 days now, but still, being late is not cool. Especially if you make people wait for 30 minutes. But boss wins. End argument. Now, with the lack of bathroom business, I end up having to go to the nearby Husky's to use their bathroom. But since using their facilities without any purchases is exceptionally rude, I feel conflicted whenever I go, so I've been having to buy stuff every time i need to use the bathroom. Purchases so far: Jolly Ranchers, Chupa-chup, Mentos.
Also, the place is very very dusty. I thought my house was dusty until i took off my glasses and realized that my glasses were incredibly dirty from work. My throat also feels incredibly dry and grainy.
In other news...
Went back to my high school for their chamber music night presentation. Loved the tagline "from the sublime to the ridiculous", that is, unless my memory fails me (which it has on multiple occasions, usually during exams). I miss the cohesiveness that occurs between the members of a chamber music group. But it was enjoyable to listen to them play, especially that final percussion groove. That was intense. Coconuts.
Forgot to mention earlier that I've dropped Mr. Orange-Kun for the first time.. on cement too =_=". The scratches, the pain, they tear into my heart.
Still no news from UC on NANS or OL, that's quite frustrating. Well, should hear back about NANS in the coming week, but OL I'd at least hope that they would notify me if i get rejected, I wouldn't have to hold out for so long.
On packages. Haven't received anything from Barb nor Jeff. Should also be arriving next week, I hope.
Donating more blood in less than 6 hours. I wonder if rest is required before those things.
On initiative. I lack it. Ambition, drive, initiative, whatever you'd like to call it. I envy those that possess it. Perhaps I possess some, but my laziness and 'go-with-the-flow-ness' overrides it. Or rather, I have acted on initiative before, and have failed miserably, or it ends in some sort of lingering disaster (akin to radioactivity) that prefers to haunt my mind.
So what are we going to do? We have tried multiple tactics, plans, ideas, all to no avail. One could argue that it's reinforcing what we're trying to break, and it just proves how things are. This intense lack of self restraint, what is to become of it? This sinusoidal function of alternating elation and depression, when does it reach it's limit?
The situation itself is difficult when I have to make a choice between my own feelings and my respect for your wishes. It makes things no easier that your actions betray what you wish for. Regardless of your actions, the source of this torrent of emotions resides within my own two hands. A random joke that is blown out of proportion. A soul unfazed by multiple rejections. An ignorant fool forsaking advice. The person that rejected other chances for this. A desperate man clinging onto a shred of solace. Me.
Me. If everything started there, should it not end there as well?
3:30, perhaps rest will clear things up. But past experience will indicate otherwise. Don't take this seriously, it happens all the time.
