I Think You're Misunderstanding the Meaning of Your Words

Another one of those urges where I want to post... but not sure of what.

Lately, the posts have been lacking that...thing that I talk about at the beginning before I diverge elsewhere. Maybe an indication of how little my mind is able to wander these days.

Well... few days back, was hit by a massive wave of hypocriticism. It was irritating because it's not the first time it's happened. You always say that I should place school first above all else, then you keep throwing random things in my path and tell me to take care of them. That's contradictory. And annoying.

'You need to make sure you spend enough time studying... oh by the way, I need you to come down on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to do this and that because it amuses me'. Slightly exaggerated. Only slightly though.

'I need you to come up to Edmonton with me in February to go look around at random places and such'. Of course, I reply that this would not be the smartest move since it's in the middle of a semester and there are always labs to be done and concepts to be studied. His response to that... was something along the lines of scorn, quiet anger, and seething rage. He just manages to say things in just the way to make you feel completely uncomfortable and displaced.

An analogy:
"Hey, you want to go to study today?"
"Oh, I can't, I have to go meet my parents for dinner."

A standard response would be:
"That's cool, enjoy dinner with your parents!"

A response of his caliber would be:
"But I planned it so that you'd be there and was expecting that you would come. I'd have to cancel everything if you're not going and it would ruin everything for everyone"

... um. Dood? Kind of like that. Except worse. A lot worse. I don't handle guilt well. I also don't handle making others feel bad exceptionally well (people that I care about of course, also.. who does?) So I'm stuck in a rut. Again. Of course, I'm stuck in a rut with you too.


In other news...


Exams are going to be a disaster. It's a premonition. Ecol / Nans I should be able to wing. Ochem however, despite studying all day for it, still feels like a complete mess. Genetics might be okay if I study. Zool won't go well either.

It's all part of the trend though because nothing is going well at this point.
Because I'm a complete mess and a failure in many if not all respects.

Epic fail at Bestbuy due to miscommunication by the workers there. "Yeah, the controller bundle works with the promotion." No, no it doesn't. "You can get a raincheck for that game!" No, no you can't. "We hate you.' Yeah, that much was apparent. At least I spent some quality time with Short.


It's interesting to see how despite how we no longer have classes and such, I still manage to stay up late doing nothing important. Well, yestermorning was rather important. Or exciting. New? Definitely new. Enjoyable? Yeah. Also despairing. I think I managed to make things worse again. Surprise. Nothing positive seems to result from what I do lately.


Roads are more slippery than ever. Hope I don't do anything reckless. Or other people don't do anything reckless. Since more crashes involve more than one party.