Do you want some change with that?

It's 8pm and I already want to go to sleep. Not sure why I'm overwhelmingly tired. Also not sure why I'm really really cold right now.

...

!

Wait a minute. This seems like it might be leading up to me being sick. I sure hope not.

...anyways.


This time... something feels different.

The past two weeks have been... tumultuous to say the least. Things incompleted, hours unslept, logic irrational, emotions torrential.... I was completely ... depressed. It was obvious and it was all messed up.

But why does it feel different this time?

Flashback to the weekend: I want to do it. I should do it. I needed to say it. It was no longer a question of should or shouldn't... but how to do so. It couldn't have been anywhere else but on campus, you wouldn't agree otherwise. But even then, there were so many variables.

So once again, thought was spent devising the perfect way of executing things. Perfect never happens. Just so you know. Anyways, regardless of whichever plan was thought up.. in the end, it all revolved around one single thing. Which was ruined by a stranger.

The end.

...not.
In other news...
I guess it came down to a bit of luck, texting, and hope that things worked out.

The amount of work accomplished today was frustratingly minimal. Completed the application for exchange (which was annoying because they set a word limit for the Statement of Purpose which meant reducing 850 painstakingly crafted words to a paltry 500) and a Chem351 lab. That's it. That is just sad. Regardless of it being only 8:40 right now, my eyelids are already collapsing, which means no more work will be done.
Maybe I was hoping that in the darkness, we could imagine that we were else where.

Parents departing Friday and won't be back for a good 15 days. Which is bad bad news since I can't take care of myself properly. Maybe I'll be able to sustain myself on water and crackers till they're back. At least I'll be able to drive around.
..that... maybe anything was possible.

Finally tried the L4D2 demo. Resisting playing when the game is actually released is going to be ridiculously tough. Maybe preordering the game was a bad idea. But I've already made my share of bad ideas, and this one isn't the worse of them.
It took... so much... to say so little.

Honestly, why is it so cold in here? Gah.
Maybe.. I didn't want to move on till I told you in person...

Maybe I should just sleep now. I mean... I do have to wake at 5:45 ish tomorrow. I'd be getting a good 9 hours if I crashed now. What about the work? I probably won't do it tomorrow either knowing my recent habits. Fleh.
I know it was selfish of me but... I had to do it... and I wish that it didn't end.

Finished reading Yu Yu Hakusho last night as well as beat Castlevania: SoTN this morning. Such incredible accomplishments. It's no wonder I'm not getting work done. YYH was a satisfying read, and it really shows its age with the way characters are drawn as well as what they wore. Castlevania was thoroughly enjoyable, if not slightly frustrating when you constantly game over due to the incredible difficulty that all games came in back in the day.
Maybe it's time that I moved on... even if it's difficult to have to start allover again.

Tomorrow's another day. I'll reminisce about grandma later.
If fate truly exists in this world... maybe...just maybe... I'll find that twenty dollar bill someday. And if I do... I hope it's not too late.